Almighty... so... the family drama at home has gotten pretty bad. My cousin, her boyfriend, their dog and other pet are still in the house. They've been with us for two years, and were only supposed to stay for one year. Only one of them works, I don't know how they don't save any money in order to move out. It made me wonder how they even survived in the house they originally had together anyway. Then again, that's why they ended up living with us. They really need an apartment, even if it means paying a pet deposit. Better than having what happened here, happen.
Anyway, going onto a little rant here about that -- my uncle is also here, and seemingly moved himself into the house when he broke up with his girlfriend. He had a nice house with animals out in the country. He claimed to 'want to be closer to family'. We were only an hour away?....I don't understand... I don't know if he asked to live with us or not. I don't know. I didn't ask, but he moved himself here, cat included.
Now then, the only issue here is; there's no damn room in the house for anyone or anything. Food, rent, and other things are hard to come by, mostly because I'm helping the one responsible for this duplex. The others have to be forced to help out with the bills. I don't need reminding. Though my aunt never told her landlord anything, until well this week when she found out about the house. The house being a mess, the dog, the stuff that was repainted, wallpapered. Uhm, excuse me, but you don't own the house? Why would you do that?
So now we've got a couple of weeks to correct everything and pay the upped rent because she also found out about the extra people living in the house. So we have to fix everything, and then either pay the new rent or find a new place to live.
Here's what I want to do - Move the hell out. I want the car that's supposed to be mine, but instead I'm getting excuses of 'I need to practice driving in a city'. I know how to drive ok? It's not hard, and you don't forget. There may be a difference to driving on a city compared to a small town, but it's not rocket science. I feel like a five year old when I'm told that.
The only other reason I don't have the car is because she wants $200 a month for it. I'm sorry? What? I cannot afford to pay $200 a month for a used car. I barely make $40 a week, and only get paid twice a month. I don't have much to live off of.
.... I'm just tired of all the fighting over the house, all the screaming, yelling, and drama. They need to figure out their own shit. I just don't know where I'm gonna end up anymore. I honestly don't know. I'm also tired of the secret holding, I live in the house too, don't you think I should know what goes on in the house? Or am I just to hide, pay my rent and mind my own business and keep quiet? --- I'm sorry, no, that's no way to live and it does not make me happy.
This is why I haven't drawn for a while, this is why my art is so slow and far in-between. Because this drama is enough to effect me, depress me, and has even thrown me into anxiety attacks at random. I'm feeling a little bit better now, probably because I'm venting and letting it out to people I do trust.
So I distract myself... I watch anime, and Rp to try and make those feelings all go away. Arting helps sometimes, but my motivation to art has been zapped to zero. I'm trying to pick up the pieces again, while continuously getting other bad news to depress myself over. I guess good things don't all last forever.... no matter how much we want them to.
Despite this house full of family and people, I feel utterly alone.
---------------------------------------= COMMISSIONS =
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Music: Fairy Law - Fairy Tail OST
Reading: Fanfiction; since there's no Rp today.
Playing: Furcadia - even though its practically empty. Feral Heart has more people and more Rp than Furc ever has anymore.